When my symptoms were triggered, I'm not going to lie, at first I was completely out of control. For a while, I was broken, lost and confused. All of the anger and anxiety that I had repressed had come to the surface. I spent several years being very ill. I completely isolated myself from everyone I loved. I DID come to a point where I hit rock bottom and I was a the height of my cutting and other distructive behavior. I had a lot of thoughts of suicide.
At this point I finally broke down and truly accepted help because the next step was death. I started with Addictions and Mental Health counselling and after a while they lead to other therapies that were essential to my recovery.
Here is a list of the resources and support I had to take to get to this point, you MAY find these helpful.
1 - Addictions - I went to rehab twice and then worked with an addictions counselor
2 - Mental Health Service counseling
3 - Managing Powerful Emotions (3 month class)
4 - Anger Managment (3 month class)
6 - Dialectical Behavior Therapy - I also watched Marsha Linehan's 4 pk DVD series - From Chaos to Freedom - unfortunately DBT Therapy is not available in my area so I took it upon myself to watch these DVD's as many times as I needed. I was NOT giving up!
7 - Helping Others - Finally, I have spoken at the family support network groups in my area for the last two years running every spring and fall . Giving family members an informative look from a consumers perspective and giving them hope for their relative. I am far enough along in recovery where I can go tell my story and not cry.
It's been a long time but I can finally say that I have come out on the other side. Almost like an emotional rebirth. Into a life full of ups and downs still, but now I have the skills to help control my reactions. My relationships are loving, I love my family and friends and they love me.
It took me 7 years of learning and 4 years of hard investigation to gather everything I have here. All I can offer as a fellow Borderline who has been there and back again. My purpose is to give HOPE to those still in need, and to say that indeed BPD may be the "good disorder", because of the capability to recover fully. Not an easy task by far, but still possible!!
At first I had never even heard of the words Borderline Personality Disorder. Now, I couldn't imagine my life without it. It's part of what makes up the core of who I am. We truely are beautiful souls and I wouldn't have it any other way. Once you find the right doctor and the right medcation, things seem to fall into place and it gets easier than you think.
I hope you find this information as helpful as I did. Hang in there! You are absolutely worth it! Everyone's brain is wired differently. Scientists and doctors are JUST now starting major research on neuroscience and the mind as well as emotions attached to the mind. They are also taking mental illness in Canada a lot more seriously and have made action plans to begin strategies to help the mental health issues that we face today. Here's a small video to give an example: http://ww3.tvo.org/special/mental-health-matters you can also go to www.tvo.org/mentalhealthmatters . Be patient and the answer may come sooner than you think.
David Brooks, Author of The Social Animal mentions a quote from the book, The Greek Way by Edith Hamilton that really stuck with me. Hamilton quotes a passage from Aeschylus: "God, whose law it is that he who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget, falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despite, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the aweful grace of God".
I hope that even a little of this information is helpful to those who read through it. I have hopes to try and touch as many people as
I can with this information. As Steven Johnson puts it, "Local information can lead to global wisdom".
Thank you for visiting my website! Please feel free to like my page on Facebook : My Mind on Borderline Personality Disorder
and email me at OnBorderline1981@gmail.com
A fellow BPD
IN LOVING MEMORY OF JULIE MARIE RYCKMAN - FELLOW BORDERLINE
JULY 14th,1978 - OCT. 6th, 2013